Concealed Feelings
by faerydoll k
Summary: “If there were many tears falling down,Every heart would become gentle,If everybody expresses what they think,Every heart can be satisfied”. Could it be possible to if this will be a TomoyoxSyaoran or EriolxTomoyo fic?[NOT One-Shot anymore!] RnR! PLS
1. Default Chapter

~~~Konichiwa minna!!! Here's my very first 

ONE-SHOT. **Hopefully** this would be worth 

your time in reading. This is just a product of 

too much daydreaming (specially on class). 

Hehe. . .  actually this is just one of my opinions 

that pop-out of my head while watching CCS. And 

its not just about Syaoran (ooh. . . dats because 

I think 'bout him a lot), its really about Tomoyo's 

unknown 'special person'.  

**Disclaimer:** I don't own CCS. Some part of 

the story is taken from the original 

CARDCAPTORSAKURA Series and I don't 

own it. But this story is mine.

**(A.N.: **The story happens in the middle of 

the **REAL** series ok?**)**

**"Character Speaking"**

_'Character's Thoughts'_

**(Me speaking)**

**~~lyrics~~**

**[[ the episode where it was taken]]**

**{{ disturbing words from the past that they remembers}}**

**#### Change Scenes####**

Concealed Feelings
    
    _                        "If there were many tears falling down,_
    
    _Every heart would become gentle._
    
    _                   If everybody expresses what they think,_

_              Every heart can be satisfied"._

_~~~~~~ # # # # # ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ # # # # # ~~~~~~~_

[[Episode60"Sakura and Her Precious Friend"]]

_'Since when did I start feeling this way?_

_ Why do I always stares at him from afar? _

_          Only to see him staring at someone else . . ._

_Would there be a time, where I would be the one in his eyes?'_

          She dismissed all of her thoughts and approaches the guy she was staring the whole time.  "Yesterday was such a pity," I said.

"Wh. . . What was . . .?" he stammered.

"You were about to tell Sakura your feelings, but Kero interrupted." I replied, trying to sound as if I'm not disturbed about the idea. 'Well, whose idea is it anyway?' 

**_{{_**There may be a reason to just keep this hidden within your heart, but how about your feelings? Is it really okay?  

No matter what kind of feelings it is, if you do not put it into words, it cannot be told**_.}}(_From episode 59Sakura,Tomoyo and the ball trap)**

_'But, how about me? Why do I keep my feelings concealed?'_

"When are you going to tell her?" I asked.

"I'm not going to tell her yet . . ."he said. "I admit that yesterday I had no other things in mind but to tell her my feelings. But before that I still have things to do first."

"I made a promise. Before the girl I like the most appear, Meilin will still be my fiancé. Therefore I. . ."

"Therefore, you need to tell Meilin your feelings right?" Tomoyo said.

"I talked to her last night over the phone. I told her that there is something I need to tell her when we see each other next time."

"What did she say?"

"She asked me why couldn't I tell her on the phone. I told her I wanted to tell her in person and she said okay."

"I see. . ."

"After I tell Meilin. . .then I'll tell her. . ."

"And when will you two meet?"

"Actually I told her that I'll go back to Hong Kong during the winter break but she said she can't wait that long."

"Meilin, she must have wanted to come here as soon as she had talk to you."

**# # # # AFTER School # # # #**

          Now I'm walking beside Syaoran, listening to Sakura and Meilin's conversation. It's getting awkward so I tried to start a conversation with him.

"Are you going to tell her today?" Tomoyo asked. He nodded and said.

"I'm sure about my feelings already, if I don't tell her, I'll be breaking my promise." he said. "And I have to keep my promise to her no matter what."

"This is just like you, I am sure this is one of the reasons why Meilin has fallen for you." 

_'And perhaps this is one of the reason's why I am falling for you' _

_sotto mezameru~~~ _Quietly awakening...

_hakanai omoi zutto~~~ _I always, always wish

_donna toki demo negau yo~~~ _that these fleeting thoughts

_anata ni todoku you ni to...~~~ _would reach you...

# # # # Night # # # #

          _'What a tiring day, being attacked by those penguins. . .' _Tomoyo drink her tea and smile, a sad smile. _'I wish he could always be by my side to protect me. . . and tell me why I'm feeling this way.'_ She closed her eyes, trying to ease the pain.

          Suddenly, a maid told her that a friend of hers, named Meilin wants to talk to her. She walks slowly down the stairs and saw Meilin. She was carrying a suitcase, eyes red. Tomoyo ushered her to come into her room. And when they arrive in there, Meilin put down her suitcase, Tomoyo sit down. Silence enveloping them. 

          Abruptly, Meilin ran towards Tomoyo. She landed on her knees and began to cry.

"What a heartless guy!" Meilin shouted.

"I really love Syaoran more than anyone in this world! I—I'm sure I love him more than anyone else!(sob) Why did this had to end like this!(sob)

Why! Why did this had to be this way!(sob) And you know what Tomoyo?! What makes me even mad is the fact that I can't hate Kinomoto. I know she's a real nice person. And I know I can't blame her, why Syaoran loves her and not me!"

          Tomoyo just sat there listening to her friend. How she knew, she's feeling more hurt than Meilin. _'At least she have courage to tell him, unlike me. . ._

"It really hurts! It's just that I can't accept he loves someone else!(sob). It really hurts that much! I'll cry and cry until my eyes would sore! I'll cry and cry until I have felt that I had no more tears left for Syaoran!" Meilin continue to cry as Tomoyo comforts her. They just stay there; Meilin's sobbing could be easily heard. They were both quiet the whole night, while their hearts hollered. Soon they fall asleep.

_"ato sukoshi" to yuu kyori ga fumidasenakute ~~~ _Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance

_itsumo me no mae wa tozasarete-ita no~~~ _The way I see before me is always blocked 

# # # # Next Day # # # #  

                    Tomoyo walks down the streets remembering what happened last night. Seeing Meilin cry, and all. She really felt sorry for her friend. But somehow she felt more sorry for herself. Why can't she just say it out loud in front of him? Of course she knew why. . .

She knew that if she tell him, he will just reject her.
    
    _aitai aenai hibi wo kasaneru tabi ni~~~ _Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up,
    
    _tsuyoi tokimeki wa setsunasa ni naru yo~~~_ My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.

          _'Why does the image of your face make me tremble? Is this really love? If I tell him, will it be the same? Would you still be my friend? Would you still trust me?'_

_ anata no koto wo omou~~~_ I think of you

_sore dake de namida ga~~~ _and that alone is enough
    
    _ima afuredashite kuru yo~~~ _to make the tears start to flow now

_hakanai omoi zutto~~~_ I always, always wish

_donna toki demo negau yo~~~ _that these fleeting thoughts

_anata ni todoku you ni to...~~~ _would reach you...

Walking pass the Penguin park, she notice Syaoran was sitting on one of the swings alone. She comes closer and sits on the other swing. 

Syaoran smiled a little to her, she looked down on the floor so he won't notice her cheeks, turning to red. 

"You know Tomoyo? I've been thinking lately, how coward I could be, not being able to tell my feelings. But you've boost up my confidence. I do admire you a lot, it seems like there's nothing holding you back, like your one perfect person and---

"That's just what you think, but I'm not perfect, not even near perfect. . ."
    
    _tsuyogaru koto dake shiri-sugite-ita watashi~~~ _I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.
    
    _dakedo ano toki kara mayoi wa kieta yo~~~_ But since then, my doubts have vanished.__

"Your really a brave girl with great wisdom, a very nice friend. Without your advices I might still be confuse on my own feelings."

"Yeah. . . right. As if I am. I'm just a big TALK with no actions. Where did I find the guts to give you advices like that, if I myself can't be true to myself? Remember the time you told me the reason why you can't confess to Sakura because she do love someone else, and I ask you if that is a reason to not tell her and no matter what kind of feelings it is, if you do not put it into words, it cannot be told?"

"Tomoyo. . ."

_ misetai to omou mono ga kitto atte~~~_ There's definitely things I want to show you
    
    _kikasetai kotoba mo takusan aru~~~ _And so many words I want to hear
    
    _egao nakigao mo zenbu mite hoshikute~~~ _I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry
    
    _matte-iru watashi wa yamete~~~ _So I'll stop waiting
    
    _"CHANSU" wo tsukamu yo~~~ _and seize my "chance."__

"Sometimes I think how can I help others when I can't even help myself. . . Somehow I've been asking myself, Why couldn't I just tell you that I love you!?" 

          This surprised Syaoran, but he didn't say anything at all. He stayed there staring at Tomoyo's faltering figure. 

_ anata no koto wo omou~~~_ I think of you,

_sore dake de kokoro ga~~~ _and I feel like that alone is enough

_tsuyoku nareru ki ga suru yo~~~ _to make my heart grow stronger.
    
    hakanai omoi zutto ~~~ I always, always wish
    
    _donna toki demo negau yo ~~~ _that these fleeting thoughts
    
    _anata ni todoku you ni to... ~~~ _would reach you...

"I know, you're mad. I know you would just reject me. But is all right for me as long as you and my best friend will be happy. After all I already admit it to myself that you could never love me back." Tears started to fall from her eyes. The cold wind blew coolly, and her hair dance with it. 
    
    "I remember saying to Sakura, that if the person I like most can be happier than falling in love with me, I would like to keep this happiness for this person the way it is forever. But I guess it would haunt me down if I don't tell you this, I just wanted you to know, I'll always be here for you. That if someday you'll find yourself confuse, I could still be your friend."
    
    _ anata no koto wo omou~~~ _I think of you
    
    _sore dake de namida ga~~~ _and that alone is enough
    
    _ima afuredashite kuru yo~~~ _to make the tears start to flow now
    
    _tookute koe ga todokanai dakedo itsuka wa~~~ _My distant voice can't reach you now, but so that someday
    
    _kanarazu todoku you ni~~~ _it definitely will...
    
    _shinjite _la la la la la la...~~~ Believe. la la la la la la...
    
    _shinjite _la la la la la la...~~~ Believe. la la la la la la...
    
    _shinjite _la la la la la la...~~~ Believe. la la la la la la...
    
    "I'll remember that." He answered as he gives Tomoyo a blue handkerchief and smiled. In return she smiled too and takes the hankie and wipes all of her tears. Now she's free somehow . . .
    
    **# # # # 10 Years Later # # # #**
    
    "Congratulations Tomoyo!" Sakura said, giving her friend a hug. 
    
    "Good job" 
    
    "Thanks" she replied "I really don't think I deserve this. And wait, how did you know?"
    
    "Oh come on Tomoyo-chan! As if I'm not working on the same company! And Hey! You've been dreaming about this to come! And you do your best so you deserve it."
    
    "Y-yeah"
    
    "Oh! Look at the time! I'm really sorry Tomoyo, but I need to go. I'll come back tomorrow ok?"
    
    "Bye!"
    
    "Bye!"
    
                Tomoyo smiled at herself on her mirror placed beside her cabinet. She changed her dress into a more casual one and went for a walk outside. She passes to some stores and buys some things, she went to the bookstore this time, until she saw someone familiar browsing through the shelves. It was Eriol.
    
                Eriol felt her presence and turn towards her, smiling like usual. 
    
    "Hey" he said.
    
    "Long time no see" Tomoyo said.
    
    "Yeah, it's been 4 years since I last saw you and now you are one big successful designer."
    
    "Well, not exactly, what have you been doing?"
    
    "Writing, composing, anything"
    
    "That sounds more like you."
    
    "Hey, how about we drink some coffee in there." He asked.
    
    "Sure" They started to walk together and reached the cafeteria and seated on the table near the windows. You can clearly see the busy city, with cars rushing by. 
    
    "So. . .  I guess you've been fulfilled ne?" Eriol asked.
    
    "Not really. It seems like I've reached my goals already but still I feel something is missing. She drank her coffee and look outside the window once again.
    
    "Then, maybe you're missing me." Eriol said holding her hand and smiled. 
    
    "Maybe, just maybe. . ."
    
     AWRIGHTY!!!! Finish my very first one shot. Actually this was supposed to be Tomoyo+Syaran fic because I think I haven't read one like that so I just wanted to make a change but I guess it turn out to be an E+T (hehehe SYAORAN'S MINE MWAHAHAHA)
    
    Well I really don't know if this was good unless you review! ^__^
    
    So PULEASE!!! REVIEW!!! PRESS THE BUTTON!!! I guarantee you that it won't bite! Now go! And Make me happy! MWAH! LUVSHU all!


	2. Summer's last Rain

**A.N. : **Hello everyone! I know that I said this one is a one-shot only but then my friend Clare-chan a.k.a. xiao-yu1 told me that I should continue this and after all I got reviews and emails saying they like me to continue so here I am to present you the continuation of "Concealed Feelings" .

Oh! The song I'll be using is by Lea Salonga "On My Own" it's the song of Eponine in '_Les Miserables'_ it's a really nice and meaningful song. 

**_Dedication: _**to Clare-chan!!! Haha! Wonderin' why this sounded like your Love story? Well actually I really intend to make it that way! Haha cause this story is dedicated to you! Mwah! ****give Clare-chan a dedication trophy** hope you'll like it!!!**

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**_"Concealed Feelings"_**

Chapter 1: Summer's last rain 

_Rain down all around the world we're singing__  
  
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_Rain down, can you hear the earth is singing__  
  
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_Rain down, my heart is dry but still I'm singing__  
  
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_Rain down rain it down on me.__  
  
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Back to the start, my heart is heavy  
  
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_Feels like it's time, to dream again__  
  
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_I hear your voice, and yes I'm ready__  
  
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_To dance upon this barren land__  
  
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_Hope in my hands._

_~*~_

        Summer is breathing its last few breaths to welcome autumn. To meet another pretending, soon the season will change . . . And I'll find myself without a change, still buried in sorrows and the sky could hear my whimper, it shows on the weather even how loud the pouring of rain is, it's no louder than mine.

        She fingered the moist window and peered through blurred reflection. "And a happy birthday to you" she smiled, a sad smile while looking at her vague reflection.  

        She doesn't seem to mind how the world revolves around her, or how earsplitting the pitter-patter of rain outside is and for how long has it been. Its nocturnal air coming nearer that would cuddles her to go within the depths of her crying heart. It's time to dream again.

_~~ And now I'm all alone again  
  
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_Nowhere to turn, no one to go to  
  
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_Without a home without a friend  
  
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_Without a face to say hello to  
  
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_And now the night is near  
  
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_I can make believe he's here ~~_

        She hugged herself gently, twirling around like a crazy somebody who was dancing with thin air. She pressed the play button from the remote control and watches the scene closely. Her lips twitch upward as the brown-haired boy holding his sword on the current scene. 

**_"Sakura-chan! Are you okay?"_**

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**_"Hai! Tomoyo-chan you hurt?"_**

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**_"Nope! Sakura-chan so KAWAII!!! It's alright if I got hurt!"_**

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**_"Tomoyo . . . you shouldn't say that. What if you got hurt because of me?"_**

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**_"As long as Sakura-chan is on my side I have no worries!"_**

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**_"Tomoyo---"_**

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**_"I know as long as I'm with you I'm safe. Sakura-chan all you have to worry is how to finish your battle with a good pose! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!"_**

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        _'I hope I'm still okay Sakura-chan, I really hope I'm still okay with you.' _She pressed the stop button lightly and closed her amethyst eyes. '_No matter its rewind or forward on whatever tape I had, he'll always come to her first, he'll always had a worried face whenever they would have to face an enemy. Always first . . .'_

        Knuckles trembles and tears flowed out freely. She hugs herself even more with close eyes. Feeling the unreal warmth beside her. _Even just once, I want to be your only one. Syaoran, when will I be in that place? When will that be?_

        She stood looking down at her feet. She let them take her outside the angry weather. Outside to where her feelings were identical to the harsh storm. 

~~ Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and I'm happy  
with the company I'm keeping  
the city goes to bed  
and I can live inside my head ~~

        There she was walking all alone helplessly under the rainstorm. Her clothes matted on her skin as well as her hair. And she wanted to scream everything out. Her body long for his presence, his mere absence making her lost to the world she was in. On her mind he stays, on her mind he was hugging her, on her heart he is clearly engrave. 

~~ On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him till morning  
Without him  
I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
And he has found me ~~ 

        "Tomoyo-chan?" and even he's voice seems so real on her head. "Tomoyo-chan!" the voice came again. She woke up from her reverie to look at her dream. "You're soaking wet. What are you doing here?" he questioned his amber eyes flashing on her. "Same thing to you. What are you doing here? I like to walk on the rain so that's my problem and yours is different! Where's your car anyway?." She tried to let him hear her clearly on the noise the rain is producing. "Sakura confiscate it since I forgot to buy her the supreme strawberry ice cream that's why I'm here to go get it! My life depends on that" he laughed and she couldn't help but giggle too.

        "Yeah better go get it Romeo! Haha! Good luck!" she said waving her hand but not until a black package came flying on her. "Huh?" She looked at it and it was a video cam casing. "Sorry I'm kinda broke! And don't laugh at me either my mom just got mad at me and gives me three-hour lecture on not feeding her favorite cat some deadly cookies made by Sakura." He flashed one of his rare smiles and salute goodbye to her. 

~~ In the rain the pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me forever and forever ~~ 

        She gazes at his back as he ran away. _And that is why I hated this delusion; I want to stop dreaming for he'll disappear again in the morning light._

~~ And I know it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say, there's a way for us ~~

        She slowly walks back to her apartment, with her frosted body. Heart keeps on hollering how stupid she was. How pitiful she was right then. She could feel the raindrop become lighter but not the pain she was feeling. It's gonna be a start of a new day again but nothing change in me. It's all a dream. 

~~ I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him  
The world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
The streets are full of strangers ~~

        Hands were beginning to be numb like her heart would right now. In endless repeating of seasons, her life would revolve alone. Just the memories of childhood have courage to warm her. 

_~~ I love him  
__But every day I'm learning  
All my life  
I've only been pretending  
Without me  
His world would go on turning  
A world that's full of happiness  
That I have never known ~~_

        She reached her place but an unfamiliar figure was over her doorway.  Soaking wet his body splattered lazily on the floor, bouquets on his hand in between the flowers were a small blue box and a card. 

"Eriol?" she checked his being and tried to wake him up but he wouldn't budge. Instead of waking him again she read the card and smiled on him. 

**_Happy Birthday Tomoyo-chan!_**

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A simple man who wishes you to relax and forget everything else even just now on your precious birthday. I want you to accept this from me Eriol, ot Clow Reed's reincarnation nor Fujitaka-san's half.

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**_Eriol._**

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I hope I'm not dreaming about this one. For I know as leaves would dry up and fall down to their trees. I know autumn come. And no one know exactly how people fall in love, maybe from friendship, but not quite lovers yet. A subtle yet special relationship like this changes gradually as time passes. Just like the changing of seasons . . . It's gonna be autumn again.  

**_~*~_**

A.N.: I'm not really going to end it there but its time for me to sleep my mom is getting mad awready….hehehe…………………….

So it's not clear if it would be Syaoran+Tomoyo or Eriol+Tomoyo well……….. all of you help me decide! Hahaha please Review! Ja ne! and if you have time read and review my other stories too! Remember to feel free on asking question or emailing me! Luvshu all! Review please! Mwah!

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